Why you gotta be so greedy?

     If I told you that prior to this class I knew what it took for me to open up my inner genius, I would be lying, completely. 

Going through this part of the class really showed me a lot about myself. There are two ways that I tend to prevent my creativity from flowing out onto reality. That's blocking my own thoughts entirely from ever being exposed, and two overthinking to the point where my outcomes are too busy and not clear, thus causing me to give up. 

I wrote about my experience as a musician and how hard it is sometimes to write original content and record it. It usually starts off with an endless montage of me searching for hours on end for a beat that has to literally speaks to me. Whenever I hear the perfect balance of bass, 808, melody, and tempo, within an instrumental, I feel as though someone's whispering into my ear the formula for a perfect song. And I know what you're thinking, "This is great". It's evident that the music opens up SOMETHING in my brain. But this something isn't always good. 

*'Cause once you get those thoughts pouring girlllll, they never gon' stop*. 

Then I find myself doing entirely too much. Erasing verses, and changing words, making this elegant, creative process a living repetitive hell. Like I'm drowning in the middle of the biggest ocean. This is when I'm blocked once again, not because can't get it done, but because I'm discouraged. So I erase every ounce of it and I beg relentlessly for more content to flourish, then I'm stuck in a place where it's too much for comfort.

Like girl, "Why you gotta be so greedy"

But then comes a time when I'm lifted, it all becomes so clear. I start to reassure myself that I can do it. I don't need all that extra stuff, the words that I needed were literally being voiced to me. I don't have to erase what I have and seek more. So remember: 

Sometimes what you want is right in front of you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it.